life is full of contradictions.

I’ve been broken for some time, I’ve just been convincing myself I was put together.

Why do I find myself wanting to throw away anything good or push anyone away once they make me the slightest bit vulnerable?

Because you’re feeling something to do with the love I think to myself. 

God that makes me cringe.

But not when I felt it, that’s a lie.

It made my skin crawl, trying to get away.

It’s so much easier that way. To be alone with no worries. You were too scared, don’t lie.

I was trying to get away because it scared me..this happiness I feel is something I’m not used to and that angers me.

“You’re a teenage girl.”

But my souls old and I feel like I’m in a constant battle with myself.

I opened the door and I don’t regret it. Only fear that the door will slam In my face, making me want to rip it off its hinges and scream in the doorway. Scream at my fears, releasing my anger, sorrows, and the grief. As I gasp for a breathe I feel a sudden reassurance of weight being lifted off my shoulders, this is such a foreign feeling and it intimidates me.

It’ll be fine.

I’ll be fine.

Everything is alright in due time.

I’ve finally washed the broken pieces out of my wounds.

My mind is blown as I finally see the positivity around me and I can only dream of passing it around like a universal joint that touches everyone’s soul. I want to change peoples lives for the greater good, I want to laugh until my face hurts and tears run down my cheeks from happiness. I don’t want to live in that abyss that I used to call home, the bottomless pit was beginning to feel too familiar.

 

 

 

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